1 turkey
1 brown paper bag big enough to hold turkey (the less advertising ink on the bag the better but it won't kill you)
Salt and butter

Salt turkey inside and out. Rub outside with butter. Put turkey in bag and tie shut with string. Place on rack in broiler pan breastside up. Roast in 325 degree oven at 20 minutes per pound for turkeys over 12 pounds, 25 minutes per pound for smaller turkeys. Slit the bottom of bag to let juice for gravy into broiler pan. Let turkey sit 15-30 minutes before carving.

You can stuff the turkey if you want, no change in recipe.

IMPORTANT: do not interrupt cooking by peeking!

2 cups cooked turkey (or chicken)
1 cup mayonnaise
2 cups cooked egg noodles
2 cans cream of chicken soup (undiluted)
1 cup sliced water chestnuts (drained)
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 cup bread cubes drizzled in 2 tbsp butter
Parmesan (optional)

Mix all but bread cubes and optional cheese in large bowl. Spoon into 9 x 13 inch casserole dish. Top with bread cubes. Bake 1 hour in 350 degree oven. Parmesan can be offered at the table.